Chained by thoughts

Every single fucking night there is some thought that creeps into the grey space between my ears and keeps me wide awake the whole bloody night. And I don't need to state the obvious here that its an unpleasant journey. It doesn't worry me. It only makes me think a lot. Sometimes wonder too. But most times it angers me.

I have tried my best to keep myself sane and sensible and I have done the best I could to put the pieces back together where they belong. And before anyone points the finger at me let me clarify that it has been done with an altruistic motive for the near and dear ones. So, that doesn't really hurt and its nothing close to the grandeur of sacrifice. What hurts might sound cliched but it can't be put in any other way. I'm close. Closer than many have ever got. Yet I'm so distant from my dreams and my free will. I find myself levitating in the empty space between reality and imagination. It seems so far-fetched that I have begun to believe its unreal. Is it? I ask you.

Hallowed Hypocrites

At the Circus there is a clown
Smiling in miseries and concealing a frown,

Of swinging trapezes and muted gasps
For daily bread and a hundred claps,

The tight-rope walker can never steer
But only hope for his path to clear,

Hurling knives the juggler flirts
With his life and the dancers in skirts,

Limping with élan the ring-master touts his whip
No battle-scars here just a scathed hip,

Of animals that greet and dance on toes
Despite the age and hunger woes,

With the Circus, they walk a thousand miles
To bring cheer and spread smiles.

Brittle Boundaries

To the birds and for the clouds

Home is sky, travel is vowed,

Friendships are occasional
Flight is spiritual,

Waves caressing the land
Greeting to take away more sand,

One world on each side
Where to live you decide.

Maybe I want to

Tell me you can hear me, scream for all i care

dont drop the hammer yet, for i can swear,

Jesus oh jesus, mother of lord I miss those days
When life was a lot simpler and lesser of a maze,

Coding and decoding isn't going to take you places
Lay your trust upon the worthy and you won't need the chases,

Do and undo is all you know
Sincereity is gone and the result is zero,

Pumpkins and veggies for those who can feed
lemons and demons for the few who lead.

Its different!

Why is this need to be different? Don't you look at yourself in the mirror and see everything unique about yourself of who you are and what you stand for? You don't need Botox, fat paychecks or beauty pageants to make you different. You are different in everyway. You need to be told by others about how special or unique you are?

It is ridiculous people trying to be someone else all the time for the simple reason to be noticed so that the others find them unique and exclusive. Like nobody else. Hell no one is the same. Its a shame if one can't find his uniqueness within himself. Real shame.

Broken Ballast

Keep some loose change
be the buzzer, be the brain,

jump over the fence onto the open fields
raise a brow and cross the streets,

be the season, be the wind
feel the same through all you've been?

Nevermind if you missed the sign
Come home baby lets sing in rhyme,

Break the ladder for the bell will ring
shut the door or she will scream,

They often asked the jury about his pride
it hurt so deep, even the angels cried,

So there...

Hoist the colours and stand in queue
we want no fears to join our crew!

Bridge on the river kWhy

One, two, three, four

Bring me joy, let me score,

Take a breath, give a sigh

Pull me up, let me fly,

Filling soul, empty jar

To the moon, every hour,

Gobble up, every cry,

Feel the pain, don’t be coy,

See the sound, splash my life,

Come to mamma, breed the hype,

Cut your nails, hear me loud,

Comb your hair, let us shout,

In the prison, do not fear,

Just grab the neck and pass the beer.

Drain the pain

"Can I get another prayer for the ending
Who's left the window ajar, the morning sun is blinding,"

Watching his steps Jack is conscious this time
Not a drop to waste and not enough words to rhyme,

The optimist breeze brings with it the scent of hopeful rain
Each driblet destined to drain the pain,

The call...

Dad, dear dad, where did you disappear?
I tried your number but the lady said something unclear,

Are you in a meeting or are you too busy?
Can you please sms, cause its driving me crazy!

Thought you said you did always be there for me,
Where art thou for I want to speak to you badly!

I frantically search for your inviting arms
All that comfort and full of warmth,

Its getting out of hand, for my mind I will lose
I heard the lady loud and clear, she said the number's not in use.

Me as an Oxymoron? Yes. Absolutely.

Epinephrine. Commonly known as adrenaline. It is an action hormone that plays a central role in the short-term stress reaction.

When in the bloodstream, it rapidly prepares the body for action in emergency situations. The hormone boosts the supply of oxygen and glucose to the brain and muscles, while suppressing other non-emergency bodily processes (digestion in particular). It increases heart rate and stroke volume, dilates the pupils, and constricts arterioles in the skin and gastrointestinal tract while dilating arterioles in skeletal muscles.

So basically, it does put your body under stress.

However, while racing a motorcycle it doesn’t feel so. Infact, riding a bike at its limits is a stress-busting activity for many. After a long tiring week, a good fast ride on any Sunday is the ultimate energy recharger. It’s funny how this works. Stress itself acts as a stress-buster. The body works in mysterious ways. At least I know why I don’t eat much on days that I’m riding or racing.

how long, not so long...

I want to live for myself once before i die. Live completely wild. Completely free.

Maybe get drunk and stumble over a bus stop.

Stunt until I break a few bones.

Race till i crash and experience concussion.

Take up free-style (no ropes) rock-climbing.

Bungee jump.

Do parkour.

Try BMX.

Maybe skate-boarding.

Kickstart a moshpit.

B-boying.

Fly a kite.

Box.

Chase a wild bull.

Go ghost hunting.

Ride across continents.

And many more things. How I wish.

Maybe next life.

Touching Your Heart

cool as water from a mountain stream 

as soon you believe it, its a beautiful dream

i dont need anyone to tell me where im going

where the eagle glides and the crystal waters flowing

touching your heart theres a new day

summer sunrise and touching your heart, no more blues, just a blue horizon 

deeper than the ocean, higher than the stars 

reach it out, touching your heart

I aint running, no reason to hide

gotta keep on moving, spread my wings and fly

gliding down the highway, wind in my hair,

travels far behind me, theres a whole world out there

im touching your heart theres a new day

summer sunrise and touching your heart no more blues, just a blue horizon 

deeper than the ocean, higher than the stars 

reach it out, touching your heart

i dont need anyone to tell me where im going, where the crystal waters flowing

touching your heart, theres a new day

summer sunrise and touching your heart, no more blues, just a blue horizon 

deeper than the ocean, higher than the stars 

reach it out, touching your heart

touching your heart.

You can listen to the song here

So? Where are we? Aren't we a little late for the show?

(chatter in the background)

Questions, questions and some more questions.

Should we destruct so that we can create?

We can construct on what already exists.

(Applause)

I need some water. Chilled. Like my spine.

You don't have a spine.

(laughter)

(pause)

And you don't have a brain.

(silence)

Don't you start again.

(interrupts) Wait a minute, Can you hear it?

Hear what?

Your grey cells are screaming "Give us work! Give us work!"

(smirks)

Ah, very funny. You love doing this, don't you?

Doing what?

Showing off your wits. Especially when you have an audience like this.

(chatter)

What do you mean by "like this"?

Oh! For once you are without an answer. I never thought I would see that happen in this life.

Now that your objective for this life is achieved, get a new one.

(laughter)

I really need a new one. All thanks to you.

____________________________________________________________________________________

The point of this dialogue? Well, these are the same two people of opposite genders who once upon a time were truly, madly, deeply in love with each other. How much love is there now, is open for us to see. Most relationships reach this point before they officially announce, THE END. We all have been through this phase. The words might come from any of the gender. That is why there is no He or She in this piece. You can choose what words you said or heard. Its open. Just avoid getting it to this point again.

The mystery.

Is it really so complex or is it just me? or us?

How many of us are actully living? Aren't we all more or less striving? Thriving maybe...

Is life all about a lavish apartment, two cars and a good loving wife? (In order of their appearance) Or is it more? Is it about going out there and exploring? About trying? Moving on?

DevD questioned this very train of thought. Dev's travel and experiences told me everything that I already knew but rarely admitted. I had seen it happen. Sometimes to me, sometimes around me. I knew what he felt and why. Cause I had felt so too, sometimes. So what if I didn't have a glass of vodka in my hand or crack to add more charm to the miserable situation I was in? That didn't stop my emotions from running helter-skelter. Pain was still there. Its there even today. So what if the tears don't flow? The eyes still swell. Maybe due to severe lack of sleep. My point being, the reason remains the same.

It is all so simple and easy to comprehend.

Even then why don't we break away from the mould and set ourselves free?

The mystery.

Till then, try not falling in love.

Don’t, Drink and Die

I was a little dazed and everything around me seemed hazy as I slowly opened my eyes

My head didn’t hurt anymore but I could feel blood trickling down my shoulder and then to the spine,

Puzzled as to what happened here, I threw a glance around me to see what’s going on

I probably had a couple of extra glasses of JD and it’s just another hangover me thinks,

I carefully walk towards the guy who looks petrified for some reason I don’t know

He turns, looks at me and then again turns his back onto me with no expressions to show,

The next thing I hear is Mira’s voice in pain and agony, I rush in the direction of her scream

As I appear from the back of the van I am shocked and stunned with the sight so grim,

I never thought this would happen to her or more importantly to me

I was always in control and I never drank over the limit, I was a responsible hubby

But then reality is different and I am a dead man today but was alive once

Mira, my wife, and I were expecting our first child to be delivered in five months,

I stand frozen as I see her damp eyes filled with grief staring into the empty space

God, can you please give me one more chance, I promise I will clear this mess.

Krishhnam Vande Jagad Gurum

The state of affairs at my end is just like a maze

Running in circles and never listening to what the Gita says

Every morning the world outside contradicts the world within

Its nice and sunny out in the open, inside its all dark and grim

The pigeon visits me every morn and I don't know why it sits on the window pane

I shoo him and it flies in the open sky only to return the next morning again

The mind is working overtime and there is enough already to keep it busy

I never thought he was dying but there was always some disparity in my opinions making it appear hazy

Picture in a picture is what these eyes have always noticed

Somehow this talent never did any good but simply had me worried

During my childhood I would guard the soap bubbles and pray every second to God not to burst them,

But like all those sweet dreams, not a single one of it lasted

Being laughed upon by people around doesn't hurt as much as laughing at the mirror

I 'm waiting for the day when this mist of sadness dissolves into the heavens and with Krishna I can compeer.

Who really killed the 160 people in Mumbai attacks?

Half a dozen lunatics loaded with ammunition and food supplies infiltrate some of the best hotels in our economic capital, and hold civilians hostage.

Whom do we have to blame? Bureaucrats? I disagree.

If anyone is to be blamed, its we the people and not the politicians. All of us who have turned a blind eye over the years on the worsening situation in our country. Did we really care about our Country? Did we care more than we cared about our own small homes? Did we care enough?

It is an easy way out to put the blame on the government and keep cursing the system.

But isn't all of this our own creation? Something that was built by the ignorance we showed every passing day?

We, the people are the reason for those 160 casualties of this latest attack on Mumbai and numerous of them which have taken place before.

Have we forgotten the attack on our parliament? Or the serial blasts just couple of weeks ago in Delhi? What makes our country so vulnerable to these constant terror attacks? Is it really only these politicians and their incompetence?
NO.

Terrorism isn't a problem that prevails only in our country. Its everywhere. In every state across the globe there are anti-social elements.

Its US. You and me. Our actions will determine how much freedom we get and we give to these terrorist activities. Its inversely proportional.

The more suppressed we are and the more we give in to the system, the more freedom will be awarded to these lunatics. WE, will have to think twice before we can decide to go to the multiplexes, malls and travel in trains. And still it will be a risk and not a very calculated one.

It is about time that we, the people of India, take full responsibility of bringing shame to our country because we have failed to act. We have failed to question unjustified acts by our politicians and the elements of our corrupt and careless system.

One man cannot do this job. Its not his job anyways. Its the duty of every Indian citizen to take the initiative and come forward. The movement needs to take place on public level. Grass root level. We are not talking about a revolution here but simply requesting everyone to question the actions or the lack of them from our politicians and officials.

They can suppress an individual trying to fight. They can't silence half the city for questioning.

We need to step out of our houses and step out on the roads. Again, no peace rallies please. Things have gone too far to be undone by requests for peace and love and blah blah blah...

And no, guns and goons wont help either. That's not the solution. (Is MNS listening?)

We demand answers. We need to ask questions to the authorities and we need to do that in number. We need to show them that we are together and we will fight against their actions that threaten to harm the peace of this nation.

We should demand immediate resignation of the Home Minister. We demand a thorough enquiry of this attack and Life Imprisonment to all the officials involved in this attack either by their choice or their ignorance towards doing their duty.

Why didn't we react when our own people (read MNS) tried to harm our brothers? Why didn't all of us gather at Raj Thackrey's residence and question him? Why didn't we demand an answer from him for disrupting the peace in the country? It doesn't matter what state or city it is. It is India. We all are Indians. I feel shameful today because I need to remind my compatriots of who they are.

We show numbers on 31st December night in Goa. We show numbers when India wins against you-know-whom. We show numbers for Shah Rukh Khan.

Then what's stopping us to come together and fight for our peace and our freedom?

I really hope that we all wake up from our deep sleep and put a hold on sweet dreams like India the next Superpower and Mumbai the next Shanghai.

Such dreams are gift wrapped in reality paper and are sold to us by every Chief Minister. That's all they do.

I'm certain that together we all can make them do a much better job and secure our freedom and restore peace.

I'm no saint, I'm just human...

She and I made a perfect couple

She was the lovely flower, I was the petal,

She was the deep blue sky, I was a passing cloud

She was the superstar and I was the crowd,

She walked with the grace of a gazelle and her skin felt soft like honey

Colours dance around her and fragrances kept her company,

Some days when I look back and think about her, I miss that warm and caring hug

But I know, for her illness I’m not the right drug,

Such affairs only reach the end in fairy tales

I’m glad, as long as she is happy, even if that is not me but someone else.

Maa ka Chaataa

bahut yaad aataa hai, har ek galti ko sudharta hai,

gussa dilaata hai, gusse ko kaabu karma sikhaata hai,

tabb rullata hai, saalon baad hasaata hai,

maa ka chaataa,

bahut yaad aata hai, duniya se bachaata hai

girr kar sambhalnaa seekhaata hai,

raat bharr sataata hai, zindagi ka arth batlaata hai

maa ka chaataa,

bahut yaad aataa hai, beetein dino ki yaad dilaata hai

maa ki mamta ko samjhaata hai, humare charitra ko sehlaata hai,

galat rahe pe chaley toh pukaarta hai, humein sahi disha dikhlaata hai

maa ka chaataa,

bahut yaad aata hai…

Radz'iating Beauty !

Smelling like fresh cloves

Stumped and raised eyebrows,

Chaos and flutter

Riot and chatter,

With you around it’s always a ball

Radz, you are the prettiest doll…