Half Painted Walls

Tiffin number 247-365

2011-12-20T08:58:00.000-08:00

Do nivaalon ki kashmakash mein rehjati hai rooh bhooki,

9 se 5 ki menu mein khwaabon ki roti rehjati hai sookhi,

paisa ban chuka hai namak,

khaara nahi hai, sirf hai chamak,

jimedaari ki garmi se taptey hui asshayein bhi hai rookhi,

5-star ke sapno mein har raat ke khaaney ki recipe hai chooki.

2011-07-22T15:14:00.000-07:00

To them who said it won't be,

scrolling down, set me free,

now or never,

do you reason or savour,

tumbling down,

is the ghost of a clown.

Miles to go, smiles to sow

2011-07-10T17:25:00.000-07:00

Dear love, you make this city a better place,

every dawn a better day,

every morning more welcoming than before,

and every night cozier than afore,

you are magical, like an angel from folklore,

I am sure you will do the same to Bangalore.

But while you are there, remember that this city will miss you,

And don't fret if you miss it too, just go back the calender and count, for each day I will kiss you.

Mei -tra

2011-05-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

friends with day and friends with night

spinning smoke, sometimes black sometimes white

friends with sorrow and friends with glee

legion of tears, some restrained some free

friends with sense and friends with lunacy

droplets of dreams, some clear some messy,

friends with the ocean, friends with the desert

a grain of sand, sometimes washed sometimes weathered,

a strand of thought, sometimes distant, sometimes nigh

friends before greeting and friends after goodbye.

Sea Grains

2011-04-11T06:09:00.000-07:00

Thundering loud, lightening and cloud

dark and dusky, coarse and husky,

Million little droplets, each with a smile

and a big blue sky, chuckling through the veil,

Pleasant cool breeze, caressing the soul

like a young girl wrapped in satin stole.

एक पग

2010-12-23T11:29:00.000-08:00

प्रतिबिम्ब बस वही करे जो मैं चाहू
मगर रौशनी से लोभित साया मेरी बात ना माने, भले ही मैं खून बहाऊ,
कभी स्वर्ग को छुलू
कभी नरक मैं उतर जाऊ,
चाहे जितना सतर्क रहू
अपने साए पर ना काबू पाऊ.

Chained by thoughts

2010-06-01T13:46:00.000-07:00

Every single fucking night there is some thought that creeps into the grey space between my ears and keeps me wide awake the whole bloody night. And I don't need to state the obvious here that its an unpleasant journey. It doesn't worry me. It only makes me think a lot. Sometimes wonder too. But most times it angers me.

I have tried my best to keep myself sane and sensible and I have done the best I could to put the pieces back together where they belong. And before anyone points the finger at me let me clarify that it has been done with an altruistic motive for the near and dear ones. So, that doesn't really hurt and its nothing close to the grandeur of sacrifice. What hurts might sound cliched but it can't be put in any other way. I'm close. Closer than many have ever got. Yet I'm so distant from my dreams and my free will. I find myself levitating in the empty space between reality and imagination. It seems so far-fetched that I have begun to believe its unreal. Is it? I ask you.

Hallowed Hypocrites

2010-03-10T15:19:00.000-08:00

At the Circus there is a clown
Smiling in miseries and concealing a frown,

Of swinging trapezes and muted gasps
For daily bread and a hundred claps,

The tight-rope walker can never steer
But only hope for his path to clear,

Hurling knives the juggler flirts
With his life and the dancers in skirts,

Limping with élan the ring-master touts his whip
No battle-scars here just a scathed hip,

Of animals that greet and dance on toes
Despite the age and hunger woes,

With the Circus, they walk a thousand miles
To bring cheer and spread smiles.

Brittle Boundaries

2010-03-10T14:18:00.000-08:00

To the birds and for the clouds

Home is sky, travel is vowed,

Friendships are occasional
Flight is spiritual,

Waves caressing the land
Greeting to take away more sand,

One world on each side
Where to live you decide.

Maybe I want to

2009-12-27T10:36:00.000-08:00

Tell me you can hear me, scream for all i care

dont drop the hammer yet, for i can swear,

Jesus oh jesus, mother of lord I miss those days
When life was a lot simpler and lesser of a maze,

Coding and decoding isn't going to take you places
Lay your trust upon the worthy and you won't need the chases,

Do and undo is all you know
Sincereity is gone and the result is zero,

Pumpkins and veggies for those who can feed
lemons and demons for the few who lead.

Its different!

2009-10-28T12:55:00.000-07:00

Why is this need to be different? Don't you look at yourself in the mirror and see everything unique about yourself of who you are and what you stand for? You don't need Botox, fat paychecks or beauty pageants to make you different. You are different in everyway. You need to be told by others about how special or unique you are?

It is ridiculous people trying to be someone else all the time for the simple reason to be noticed so that the others find them unique and exclusive. Like nobody else. Hell no one is the same. Its a shame if one can't find his uniqueness within himself. Real shame.

Broken Ballast

2009-10-18T12:59:00.000-07:00

Keep some loose change
be the buzzer, be the brain,

jump over the fence onto the open fields
raise a brow and cross the streets,

be the season, be the wind
feel the same through all you've been?

Nevermind if you missed the sign
Come home baby lets sing in rhyme,

Break the ladder for the bell will ring
shut the door or she will scream,

They often asked the jury about his pride
it hurt so deep, even the angels cried,

So there...

Hoist the colours and stand in queue
we want no fears to join our crew!

Bridge on the river kWhy

2009-10-14T15:45:00.000-07:00

One, two, three, four

Bring me joy, let me score,

Take a breath, give a sigh

Pull me up, let me fly,

Filling soul, empty jar

To the moon, every hour,

Gobble up, every cry,

Feel the pain, don’t be coy,

See the sound, splash my life,

Come to mamma, breed the hype,

Cut your nails, hear me loud,

Comb your hair, let us shout,

In the prison, do not fear,

Just grab the neck and pass the beer.

Drain the pain

2009-09-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

"Can I get another prayer for the ending
Who's left the window ajar, the morning sun is blinding,"

Watching his steps Jack is conscious this time
Not a drop to waste and not enough words to rhyme,

The optimist breeze brings with it the scent of hopeful rain
Each driblet destined to drain the pain,

The call...

2009-07-14T12:32:00.000-07:00

Dad, dear dad, where did you disappear?
I tried your number but the lady said something unclear,

Are you in a meeting or are you too busy?
Can you please sms, cause its driving me crazy!

Thought you said you did always be there for me,
Where art thou for I want to speak to you badly!

I frantically search for your inviting arms
All that comfort and full of warmth,

Its getting out of hand, for my mind I will lose
I heard the lady loud and clear, she said the number's not in use.

Me as an Oxymoron? Yes. Absolutely.

2009-06-15T12:46:00.000-07:00

Epinephrine. Commonly known as adrenaline. It is an action hormone that plays a central role in the short-term stress reaction.

When in the bloodstream, it rapidly prepares the body for action in emergency situations. The hormone boosts the supply of oxygen and glucose to the brain and muscles, while suppressing other non-emergency bodily processes (digestion in particular). It increases heart rate and stroke volume, dilates the pupils, and constricts arterioles in the skin and gastrointestinal tract while dilating arterioles in skeletal muscles.

So basically, it does put your body under stress.

However, while racing a motorcycle it doesn’t feel so. Infact, riding a bike at its limits is a stress-busting activity for many. After a long tiring week, a good fast ride on any Sunday is the ultimate energy recharger. It’s funny how this works. Stress itself acts as a stress-buster. The body works in mysterious ways. At least I know why I don’t eat much on days that I’m riding or racing.

how long, not so long...

2009-05-25T12:49:00.000-07:00

I want to live for myself once before i die. Live completely wild. Completely free.

Maybe get drunk and stumble over a bus stop.

Stunt until I break a few bones.

Race till i crash and experience concussion.

Take up free-style (no ropes) rock-climbing.

Bungee jump.

Do parkour.

Try BMX.

Maybe skate-boarding.

Kickstart a moshpit.

B-boying.

Fly a kite.

Box.

Chase a wild bull.

Go ghost hunting.

Ride across continents.

And many more things. How I wish.

Maybe next life.

Touching Your Heart

2009-03-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

cool as water from a mountain stream

as soon you believe it, its a beautiful dream

i dont need anyone to tell me where im going

where the eagle glides and the crystal waters flowing

touching your heart theres a new day

summer sunrise and touching your heart, no more blues, just a blue horizon

deeper than the ocean, higher than the stars

reach it out, touching your heart

I aint running, no reason to hide

gotta keep on moving, spread my wings and fly

gliding down the highway, wind in my hair,

travels far behind me, theres a whole world out there

im touching your heart theres a new day

summer sunrise and touching your heart no more blues, just a blue horizon

deeper than the ocean, higher than the stars

reach it out, touching your heart

i dont need anyone to tell me where im going, where the crystal waters flowing

touching your heart, theres a new day

summer sunrise and touching your heart, no more blues, just a blue horizon

deeper than the ocean, higher than the stars

reach it out, touching your heart

touching your heart.

You can listen to the song here

2009-03-07T14:19:00.000-08:00

So? Where are we? Aren't we a little late for the show?

(chatter in the background)

Questions, questions and some more questions.

Should we destruct so that we can create?

We can construct on what already exists.

(Applause)

I need some water. Chilled. Like my spine.

You don't have a spine.

(laughter)

(pause)

And you don't have a brain.

(silence)

Don't you start again.

(interrupts) Wait a minute, Can you hear it?

Hear what?

Your grey cells are screaming "Give us work! Give us work!"

(smirks)

Ah, very funny. You love doing this, don't you?

Doing what?

Showing off your wits. Especially when you have an audience like this.

(chatter)

What do you mean by "like this"?

Oh! For once you are without an answer. I never thought I would see that happen in this life.

Now that your objective for this life is achieved, get a new one.

(laughter)

I really need a new one. All thanks to you.

____________________________________________________________________________________

The point of this dialogue? Well, these are the same two people of opposite genders who once upon a time were truly, madly, deeply in love with each other. How much love is there now, is open for us to see. Most relationships reach this point before they officially announce, THE END. We all have been through this phase. The words might come from any of the gender. That is why there is no He or She in this piece. You can choose what words you said or heard. Its open. Just avoid getting it to this point again.

The mystery.

2009-02-18T12:17:00.000-08:00

Is it really so complex or is it just me? or us?

How many of us are actully living? Aren't we all more or less striving? Thriving maybe...

Is life all about a lavish apartment, two cars and a good loving wife? (In order of their appearance) Or is it more? Is it about going out there and exploring? About trying? Moving on?

DevD questioned this very train of thought. Dev's travel and experiences told me everything that I already knew but rarely admitted. I had seen it happen. Sometimes to me, sometimes around me. I knew what he felt and why. Cause I had felt so too, sometimes. So what if I didn't have a glass of vodka in my hand or crack to add more charm to the miserable situation I was in? That didn't stop my emotions from running helter-skelter. Pain was still there. Its there even today. So what if the tears don't flow? The eyes still swell. Maybe due to severe lack of sleep. My point being, the reason remains the same.

It is all so simple and easy to comprehend.

Even then why don't we break away from the mould and set ourselves free?

The mystery.

Till then, try not falling in love.

Don’t, Drink and Die

2009-01-21T07:34:00.000-08:00

I was a little dazed and everything around me seemed hazy as I slowly opened my eyes

My head didn’t hurt anymore but I could feel blood trickling down my shoulder and then to the spine,

Puzzled as to what happened here, I threw a glance around me to see what’s going on

I probably had a couple of extra glasses of JD and it’s just another hangover me thinks,

I carefully walk towards the guy who looks petrified for some reason I don’t know

He turns, looks at me and then again turns his back onto me with no expressions to show,

The next thing I hear is Mira’s voice in pain and agony, I rush in the direction of her scream

As I appear from the back of the van I am shocked and stunned with the sight so grim,

I never thought this would happen to her or more importantly to me

I was always in control and I never drank over the limit, I was a responsible hubby

But then reality is different and I am a dead man today but was alive once

Mira, my wife, and I were expecting our first child to be delivered in five months,

I stand frozen as I see her damp eyes filled with grief staring into the empty space

God, can you please give me one more chance, I promise I will clear this mess.

Krishhnam Vande Jagad Gurum

2009-01-04T15:23:00.000-08:00

The state of affairs at my end is just like a maze

Running in circles and never listening to what the Gita says

Every morning the world outside contradicts the world within

Its nice and sunny out in the open, inside its all dark and grim

The pigeon visits me every morn and I don't know why it sits on the window pane

I shoo him and it flies in the open sky only to return the next morning again

The mind is working overtime and there is enough already to keep it busy

I never thought he was dying but there was always some disparity in my opinions making it appear hazy

Picture in a picture is what these eyes have always noticed

Somehow this talent never did any good but simply had me worried

During my childhood I would guard the soap bubbles and pray every second to God not to burst them,

But like all those sweet dreams, not a single one of it lasted

Being laughed upon by people around doesn't hurt as much as laughing at the mirror

I 'm waiting for the day when this mist of sadness dissolves into the heavens and with Krishna I can compeer.

Who really killed the 160 people in Mumbai attacks?

2008-11-29T06:00:00.000-08:00

Half a dozen lunatics loaded with ammunition and food supplies infiltrate some of the best hotels in our economic capital, and hold civilians hostage.

Whom do we have to blame? Bureaucrats? I disagree.

If anyone is to be blamed, its we the people and not the politicians. All of us who have turned a blind eye over the years on the worsening situation in our country. Did we really care about our Country? Did we care more than we cared about our own small homes? Did we care enough?

It is an easy way out to put the blame on the government and keep cursing the system.

But isn't all of this our own creation? Something that was built by the ignorance we showed every passing day?

We, the people are the reason for those 160 casualties of this latest attack on Mumbai and numerous of them which have taken place before.

Have we forgotten the attack on our parliament? Or the serial blasts just couple of weeks ago in Delhi? What makes our country so vulnerable to these constant terror attacks? Is it really only these politicians and their incompetence?
NO.

Terrorism isn't a problem that prevails only in our country. Its everywhere. In every state across the globe there are anti-social elements.

Its US. You and me. Our actions will determine how much freedom we get and we give to these terrorist activities. Its inversely proportional.

The more suppressed we are and the more we give in to the system, the more freedom will be awarded to these lunatics. WE, will have to think twice before we can decide to go to the multiplexes, malls and travel in trains. And still it will be a risk and not a very calculated one.

It is about time that we, the people of India, take full responsibility of bringing shame to our country because we have failed to act. We have failed to question unjustified acts by our politicians and the elements of our corrupt and careless system.

One man cannot do this job. Its not his job anyways. Its the duty of every Indian citizen to take the initiative and come forward. The movement needs to take place on public level. Grass root level. We are not talking about a revolution here but simply requesting everyone to question the actions or the lack of them from our politicians and officials.

They can suppress an individual trying to fight. They can't silence half the city for questioning.

We need to step out of our houses and step out on the roads. Again, no peace rallies please. Things have gone too far to be undone by requests for peace and love and blah blah blah...

And no, guns and goons wont help either. That's not the solution. (Is MNS listening?)

We demand answers. We need to ask questions to the authorities and we need to do that in number. We need to show them that we are together and we will fight against their actions that threaten to harm the peace of this nation.

We should demand immediate resignation of the Home Minister. We demand a thorough enquiry of this attack and Life Imprisonment to all the officials involved in this attack either by their choice or their ignorance towards doing their duty.

Why didn't we react when our own people (read MNS) tried to harm our brothers? Why didn't all of us gather at Raj Thackrey's residence and question him? Why didn't we demand an answer from him for disrupting the peace in the country? It doesn't matter what state or city it is. It is India. We all are Indians. I feel shameful today because I need to remind my compatriots of who they are.

We show numbers on 31st December night in Goa. We show numbers when India wins against you-know-whom. We show numbers for Shah Rukh Khan.

Then what's stopping us to come together and fight for our peace and our freedom?

I really hope that we all wake up from our deep sleep and put a hold on sweet dreams like India the next Superpower and Mumbai the next Shanghai.

Such dreams are gift wrapped in reality paper and are sold to us by every Chief Minister. That's all they do.

I'm certain that together we all can make them do a much better job and secure our freedom and restore peace.

I'm no saint, I'm just human...

2008-10-24T07:44:00.000-07:00

She and I made a perfect couple

She was the lovely flower, I was the petal,

She was the deep blue sky, I was a passing cloud

She was the superstar and I was the crowd,

She walked with the grace of a gazelle and her skin felt soft like honey

Colours dance around her and fragrances kept her company,

Some days when I look back and think about her, I miss that warm and caring hug

But I know, for her illness I’m not the right drug,

Such affairs only reach the end in fairy tales

I’m glad, as long as she is happy, even if that is not me but someone else.

Maa ka Chaataa

2008-10-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

bahut yaad aataa hai, har ek galti ko sudharta hai,

gussa dilaata hai, gusse ko kaabu karma sikhaata hai,

tabb rullata hai, saalon baad hasaata hai,

maa ka chaataa,

bahut yaad aata hai, duniya se bachaata hai

girr kar sambhalnaa seekhaata hai,

raat bharr sataata hai, zindagi ka arth batlaata hai

maa ka chaataa,

bahut yaad aataa hai, beetein dino ki yaad dilaata hai

maa ki mamta ko samjhaata hai, humare charitra ko sehlaata hai,

galat rahe pe chaley toh pukaarta hai, humein sahi disha dikhlaata hai

maa ka chaataa,

bahut yaad aata hai…

Radz'iating Beauty !

2008-09-22T07:12:00.000-07:00

Smelling like fresh cloves

Stumped and raised eyebrows,

Chaos and flutter

Riot and chatter,

With you around it’s always a ball

Radz, you are the prettiest doll…

My Week

2008-09-16T13:23:00.000-07:00

Unwillingly you wake up and are forced to face the Monday morning

Tuesday goes by like its still Monday evening,

Wednesday you rush up things hoping that it will end soon but it doesn't
And Thursday is a one lazybum which does not move any faster than the sun,

Bored and bugged, plans for the weekend are the only hope that help you move on to Friday
All hasty moves are made and quick decisions are taken so that you leave right on time on the last working day...

Saturday is kept for special places and special people
Sunday is spent riding with your favourite friends on favourite roads,

If its all so similar for each of us, then why such uncanny names for the 'Days'?

Monday would be "Ihatethismorningday"
Tuesday would be "bloodylongday"

Wednesday would be "C'mongetoverwiithitday"
Thursday would be "whatplansforweekendday"

Friday would be a "Phew!day"
Saturday would be a "imarockstarday"

Sunday would be "oh!tomorrowitistheihatethismorningdayday..."

Undekhee Jindagi

2008-09-07T15:32:00.000-07:00

Achaa yaa bura kya hota hai

Jindagi ka sirf ek sachh hota hai,

Apne dil se niklee hui awaaz par gaur karo

Har pal mein khushi ko dhoondo,

Dil se nikaltee awaazen kayee anek hongee

Par uun sabka sur ek hoga,

Raah toh sabhi lejayengee kahi na kahi

Kaha jaana hai iska phaislaa toh tumhe hi karma hoga,

Har raah par naye sathee milengey aur dil tootengey

Par sabhi raaston ka makaam toh humesha ek hi hoga,

Akele hi ees jahaan mein aaye the, akele hi jaoge

Janam aur maut ke beech jitna jyada baat sakte ho baaton,

Kyunki jab ees duniya se bidaa logey toh sirf apni yaadein chod jaoge.

Leave ME alone

2008-08-28T07:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you feel so lost and hurt, tired and burnt

Covering distances is the last thing you need and walking alone ain't that easy,

Running out of steam you come to a stop
Eyes searching for directions but the vision doesn't last,

Waking up to the sound of the passing train
You regret not traveling with the gypsies for at least they don't complain,

Someday somebody told you to be free
And you set out on a voyage leaving behind all but Me,

You learned to find pastures in the sweltering desert
That made it easy but you still couldn't tell peace from pleasure,

No one could tell if it was red wine or blood in those glasses, unless they tasted
The blood spoke of how and where it flowed while the wine asked questions that never existed.

Harriet, don’t be scared…

2008-07-21T10:57:00.000-07:00

It is breezy and cold, but under the sweltering heat they take the oath
To wash away all my sorrows and sins, take nothing with me but prayers of my kins,

Sitting under the banyan tree, the Guru sets your soul free
Under the warped shadows of the branches, you look for twisted faces,

If fate would come carved on your palm, why would humans take to causing harm?
It doesn’t sound as bad as profanity from the pastor’s mouth – I wish someone calls it a day before it causes any rout,

Look through the glass of water you see some funny shapes, some look like angels and some leave a bad taste,
Trying to preserve that, which was never yours, why, just why breaking the locks on the open doors?

Dead skin taking form of nails, waking up to those not so sweet fairy tales
Breaking into sweat every now and then, the craftsman is not the creator but a bane,

Parasites don’t hurt, they promote life, and how can it be bad, if one makes several thrive
No matter how funny as this may sound, none of us should leave this town.

Step by step...

2008-07-09T05:00:00.000-07:00

The first day in school,
That first friend,

The first fall from the stool,
The first penny you spent,

First time you danced in the rain,
The first time you shared your lunch,

The first time when you boarded a train,
The first black-eye you got from that bully’s punch,

The first box of sweets from your uncle,
First window you smashed playing cricket,

The first ride on your new bicycle,
The first high school fete,

The first adult magazine that you bought,
First night-out at your friend’s place,

First time you tried a cigarette and got caught,
Chipped in for that first ever beer case,

Your first date,
The first kiss,

The first heartbreak,
First time you missed her touch,

First ride on your new motorbike,
First litre of petrol that you finished,

First time your pocket money got a hike,
The first rock concert you almost missed,

The first time you broke your guitar string,
The time you hit your first goal,

First time when your cellphone ringed,
The day you first rolled,

Remember when you bought your first suit,
The first job,

First time when you polished your boots,
The first Marlboro you smoked on the roof-top.

Sitting alone one night, I realized this is how my life has been until now,
Is yours any different? I hope not.

Drawings and Sketches

2008-07-04T05:54:00.000-07:00

Today the colour of life is green

And tomorrow it might be clean,

Choose the colours carefully for later they might not remain fresh
Lose all those whom you hold close to your heart and life will be colourless,

Blue walks with the sky and bathes with the ocean
Black graces the night with equal passion,

White romances the clouds and dates the moon
Green dances in the meadows and enriches the monsoon,

I wish I was any other colour but grey
I too would have found a permanent place on Life's palette.

Prism Path is not Lost

2008-06-24T05:19:00.000-07:00

Why are you trying hard and walking along the beach
Hoping that the jagged edges of the clouds get stitched,

The perfect sunrise or sunset isn't easy to catch
You will wait there forever but the waves won't react,

Your perseverance will not last for that long
Though how you wish you knew where she came from,

The mystical memories of togetherness turn into nightmares that haunt
Distance yourself with the thoughts and try to break away from that disillusioning bond,

Let the light of optimism and future fall on the prism of love
It will refract the light into different paths and help you grow.

Clean Slate

2008-06-03T14:04:00.000-07:00

Silence people, silence.

I need to hear to those who whisper
They shall tell me the mystical stories and then soon disappear,

And although I have heard these stories before
Now coming from them it seems so very different,

I stop thinking and instead wish I was there with them in heavens
listening about their journeys and travels,

Wishing I hadn't lost that precious stone of mine
For all that I ever had to drag me through this life was that one sign,

Living every dream and learning to anticipate
What I can have and all that I could bet,

It's so very different than I thought the way it would be
Stranger than what God thought when he made me.

Dialogue with the stars...

2008-05-04T12:53:00.001-07:00

I miss him a lot
Everytime that I'm alone, I miss him and his touch
I look into the sky and hope that he is missing me just as much

I don't know if I ever made him feel proud for being my Dad when he was around
But I will try and make a conscious effort here on to make sure he feels so now,

I hope he misses me just as much,

He needed to break away from this life and I knew it, but I didn't want to believe it
It is difficult to be so selfless where one has to let go the string that has brought him into this world,

But still I did,
Only to hope that once he is gone he misses me just as much,

Going through the photographs taken during the summer vacations and those joyrides that you took me to
Where did all that disappear and why?

Questioning reality is not something that I'm used to
But now this question is bigger than reality for me and I really hope

that you miss me just as much, Dad. 'Cause I miss you a lot.

I promise, I will be a good son. I know that will not bring back your touch,
but at least I'll be rest assured that you will miss me just as much, very much.

Dear Dad,

2007-12-12T00:56:00.000-08:00

The Smirks

2007-10-17T02:37:00.000-07:00

My innocence has lost its way
in the dark alleys of lies and hatred,

Soon the truth will be out
in the open for no one shall betray,

Think thick or thin stick is
what one's mind ponders on,

Countless questions like
pebbles on the river banks,

Ghostly feelings and hungry eyes
prey on your susceptible self,

You look for a tree to climb but
forget screaming as you fall flat on your face.

Guilt Trip

2007-09-21T02:16:00.000-07:00

Slowly but steadily the feet start to move towards the gate
Heavy and drugged all the memories start to fade,

The warning signs are a joke and they tell us only what we already know
What we demand is not answers but actions taken pronto,

Fearsome and ruthless is what everybody desires to be
None of us are qualified enough to set you free,

Those ears aren’t deaf and nor is justice blind
But money rules the roost here doesn’t matter if it’s yours, his or mine,

Doubtful as it may seem that I will ever see colour
I am still very sure that I’ll be a good sailor,

Wafting away on the ocean I may reach a point of no return
No regrets for the towns seen and no fears that concern,

Times changed, persons changed and so did you, Alas!
What remained constant were the play and its cast,

Just one thing is all I would ask for if I had to plead ever
Understand that all you need to live is not simply love but a mind equally clever.

Tinker Tinker Little Star

2007-05-26T10:34:00.000-07:00

Pigeons and warriors can they be friends
If not for the mankind then for the sake of saints,

Tease me for what I did and mock till you die
No more janets & janes for there is no need to fly,

The velvet glove holds the musket pointing to the scar
With one shot, the head was busted and the soul left ajar,

Down to dust fell the shredded pieces of meat
Junk the weapons before they start to bleed,

Pardon me maam’ you are stepping on my delicate heart
Please yourself for all you can and just don’t play your part,

Lost in the forest I do not find the way home
I brood over nothing and leave for a place less known.

Prison Melodies

2007-05-15T07:47:00.000-07:00

Freedom will come your way the moment you let go off the leashes that you hold
Do not be scared of the ONE who stands tall because he would not hurt anyone who tells stories untold,

Have mercy on thy self 'cause you will need it anyways when you betray
Do not come to me you slave of a shallow mind as to an impatient soul I shall never obey,

Carefree and unspoilt is this place of worship to the millions who live and die
For the the one who is careless he would not understand all this hue and cry,

But wisdom is not something that can be measured or treasured
You kill countless enemies with the handful of friends that you have gathered,

Fruitful are these thoughts coming from an absolute human psyche
Do not dream only to forget the next morning, dream to accomplish what the dream did not reveal.

The lovely morning mist through the window-pane

2007-05-15T07:04:00.000-07:00

There can be you and then there can be none
Where can they hide and where can they run,

Post the affair they rarely see the sun
Coming down the hill they stumble and turn,

Mischievous eyes make mockery of the tears that roll down
No entity for the reflection in the mirror and the faces that frown,

Touch me not says the standing hair on hand
Just feel the freezing cold and see your vision expand,

The senses go numb and we can do nothing but stand stunned
The emotions running amock are massacred and the desires burned,

Companionship comes at a cost that only the rich can pay
Angst comes cheap to the poor gone astray,

Do you realise how hard it hits where its already hurt?
Taking chances is not plain foolish but an art that is learnt.

He mumbled this

2007-04-26T07:27:00.000-07:00

As the time passes by the wounds will heal
From my sorrows I'll be free,

I'll walk this way but not alone
God will be there till the dawn,

Its no hallucination do you understand?
Life is a fairy tale and I'll own this wonderland,

Brilliance is something that I'll always regret
Confessions once made I'll tend to forget,

Till the horizon I'll travel and reach
Whatever I set my eyes on, I will achieve.

Ulterior Thoughts

2007-04-26T07:24:00.000-07:00

These are the last words of my prayer
I see my faith in him vanishing into the air,

I lost the ones that I found
It seems it will happen because he told me so,

I know he can't be fair
Every other day, the grave of my faith gains a new layer,

I wake up when am not sleeping
I fall when I am not standing,

The sunrise turns me off
Cause the night stops to laugh,

At the optimism of the cynical mind
I wonder if the devil in me can be so kind.

Tour de force of Imagination

2007-04-26T07:16:00.000-07:00

God is within us and he'll be there forever
So is the devil and nor will he die ever,

I may not be the lady luck's favorite kid
But I surely feel like one cause 'ME' doesn't breed,

I'll love to live a lot simpler life if I could, from the core
But loving the simpler me can everyone afford?

Like chilling ice their lies melt inside me
The molten fire raging underneath will you ever feel?

Truth gushes down the gutter . . .

2007-04-26T07:08:00.000-07:00

They say the pen is mightier than the sword
Today I feel so forced,

The road begins to narrow down
As the tapering edge of the queen's crown,

You think something and you say something else
You are not exactly what you look from your face,

You are with them, you hate the most
And hunt for company in all those?

Incomplete demise

2007-04-25T04:41:00.000-07:00

The smoke tears down my throat
Filling my lungs killing me whole,

The ritual is done and they are all asleep
The picture is clear and there's nothing more to it,

Weeping mama and shaken dad is what I see
Shocked are my friends, who meant so much to me,

Traumatizing is the whole damn scenario
In the grave too I fear the sleepy hollow,

Today when I look back, I feel nothings achieved and everything's lost
After my death it's no use digging the past.

Festooned Mindset

2007-04-23T07:01:00.000-07:00

Not all stories end at the graveyard

Not all affairs end when they get apart,

You see something and then you don't
You live there but you still can't call it home,

The hope doesn't die when you lose
The fate doesn't cry when you choose,

All the dark creates some light
All one can find when nothing hides.

Affirmative

2007-04-23T06:58:00.000-07:00

No one knows what happened to him
Unless you simply comprehend,

He's not the one who died of it, but all of us who will not survive,

Catastrophe will be there if it goes on like this
And no last resort shall bring back any peace,

His parents and thousands like them are stranded without a rhyme or a reason,

And they wait for their sons to bring back glory and no more treason.

The leaders justify his death
Do we still have some leftover of hate?

The Czars are gone only they are left
Cloning us won't either help.

Fate Frequency

2007-04-23T06:54:00.000-07:00

The purity and divinity in your eyes
Waiting for someone under the starlight,

The serene and calm stream flowing by
The enchanting moonlight filling the dark sky,

The present comes stealing your past
With the trust in you I feel aghast,

You succumb to your thoughts
And I lie to myself,
I'll pay for it right here
And you won't be excused either.

That very day . . .

2007-04-17T01:30:00.000-07:00

The church bells rang and the doors swayed open
They entered in attendance of friends, family, priest and nun,

He was the prey cause she was dressed to kill
Watching het trot in that white gown, all his dreams fulfilled,

The words repeated after the priest sounded like morning chants
He prayed to Lord Jesus, "Please her forever and all her wishes you will grant",

The ring glided onto the delicate fingers on her hand
His happiness knew no bounds and it all seemed like fairyland,

Amidst the claps, the band and the window-pane frost
He pulled her close and kissed her across,

As they drove away in an open top roadster
The Angels went to sleep.

God smiled and mumbled the last words of the story
"And they lived happily ever after."

Psalm

2007-04-11T05:35:00.000-07:00

It was an abetting autumn breeze

They parted ways and vanished into trees,

They met again
Right there in the rain,

It all went back to where it started
Felt like everything was reincarnated,

The same rains in the porch
The same breeze through the doors,

But still it's not the same
Changed now are the rules of the game,

It's the end of the rhapsody
He is in distress and so is the lady,

Still fate had something great in store for them
A truthful God and friendship to lend.

Quiet Refusal

2007-04-11T04:23:00.000-07:00

As the two sit face to face with a strange feeling of emptiness
They take in the emotions that have lost the battle against time,

He offers him a candy just as he used to, way back in 1928
But oh so unfortunate, cause now its forty years late,

He knows that the price of that chair where his dear son used to sit
Is much more than the richest man alive can afford to pay,

But why do things happen so early or so late
Why do we look at the rock only after we have tripped?

As the father ponders over and over again
He learns his lessons, a bit late, but better than never,

But the son still has to learn his lessons
He will once he is sixty-eight.

A stone unturned . . .

2007-04-11T03:57:00.000-07:00

Don't worry if you are always lonesome
Cause a single rose is also a garden,

There is always a more loyal company
If you dare to gaze around
The Sun, the Moon, the Stars, if your psyche has the wanderlust,

You can count on them, as they'll be always there
Not just for you but for all those who risk their trust,

The modesty of the planets will help you vision the aspects of life
Some so gentle and others so vice,

Hunt for friends and you will be again alone, but tired
Let the pack go and you will realize the power of one.

Soul Shadow

2007-04-11T03:49:00.000-07:00

I've wandered of many beaches
And been through a million cities,

Still nothing comes close
To what I've seen today,

Preachers and teachers they all come and go
But the one I met today will always be around,

So much the world tells and it shouts
The one's whispers are still very loud,

Shun the world and then you may hear him
The godfather whom you shall never forget,

If you can lose with him
You can win with this world,

Searching for him around the earth won't ever help
Cause the one is no one, but you yourself.

Essence of Ire

2007-04-11T03:05:00.000-07:00

Thoughts whirling like a twister
No end to them no destination,

Insanity takes the place of imagination
Fear crawls in like the nights creatures,

The dark dances to the tune of the night
Leaving little hope and some mysterious signs,

Trying hard, still one can't visualize
The emotions behind these closed eyes.

Mystic Psyche

2007-04-11T02:42:00.000-07:00

The waves romance the beach
The wind pampers the fallen leaves,

The rhythm obeys the guitar
The birds answer the trees,

The sky hugs the clouds
The raindrops kiss the earth,

This love is not just internal but also eternal
Because the only condition to love is,
It has to be unconditional.

Overseer

2007-03-07T05:15:00.000-08:00

A sense of fear is in the air

Can foresight the doom is near,

I worry if you'll forsaken me
Will someone expound this killing spree?

Recall when your swan song towards humanity took place
It�ll be like asking, after birth you first saw whose face?

No matter how hard god tries
We recidivist humans never hear his cries.

Rule

2007-03-07T05:13:00.000-08:00

The sweet song of the robin is suppressed

By the bang of the canons,

A place of the morning mist is rampaged
By the modern chariots of destruction,

Now ceasefire is a cliche�
And warfare is here to stay,

Prince of darkness comes crashing the gates
Ordering peace-demanding angels to be hanged till death.

Parable

2007-03-07T05:10:00.000-08:00

All I need is one step and I'll conquer the world

Take a leap from the edge and feel like a bird,

I'll enjoy life's joy and sadness
Accept those who hate and embrace,

I'll pour some drops of bliss into the ocean
And greet the rains to shower mankind with the happiness potion,

I'll hire all the thieves of the world
To steal the sorrows off everyone's lives
Remunerate them with all the abstract joys,

If one can endeavor to be friends with the divine within
His soul shall endure till eternity.

Aftermath before dawn

2007-03-07T05:06:00.000-08:00

Unwillingly I stand and give it a thought

Decide my ways just to get lost,

Lost and found again
Running on the path of misery and pain,

It's a narrow road towards life and joins me none
Though I see some shadows, it's just an illusion,

Someone follows like the smiles from the veil
I ignore and move on with a pace that is beyond the pale,

Those lying low, from a distance they jeer
I wonder if jihad can be so fierce,

Happiness is contrived making reality hard to comprehend
The splashes of vigor help me lead my friends,

Coup de grace for happiness to begin
But until then I'll be running, running, running, running,

I'm still running.

Look back and feel good . . .

2007-03-07T05:03:00.000-08:00

Today I look at myself and I feel so strong

I thank god for taking so long,

I'll build a city free for souls
No place for sinners and vengeance for all,

The dark grim reality my living it swallows
With no life my soul feels so shallow.

P.O.V.

2007-03-07T05:00:00.000-08:00

The trust is dead and so is the fear

The feelings are lost and so are the tears,

There are some sweet memories under my bed
Which I posses in this godforsaken state,

An empire is dreamt of, but never realized
My thoughts are sketched but not colorized,

That very star represents my loneliness
As I ponder over his intellect,

The clock still ticks in the nights haze
I wish if I could go back to those good old days,

My soul haunts me like a vagabond's spirit
The sound of chimes has me chilled,

My search for peace of mind starts here
And the words of condolence are truly mere,

They judge the book by its cover
Like dark angels around me they hover.

Expect no me

2007-03-07T04:58:00.000-08:00

I see no devil

I see no soul
I walk the lightening as the thunder rolls,

I have no vision
I have no goal
I count the stars that I stole,

I search for friends
I search for foes
I dust the memories the ones I owe.

Romancing the Truth

2007-03-07T04:54:00.000-08:00

I don't believe in cons I believe in pros
You don't trust me but you trust those,

Nothing is lost if one goes to prison
Everything is lost if one suffers treason,

Nothings achieved if one loves for a reason
Everything's achieved if one doesn't live in profusion,

To start with something you have to end with another
To end in peace you have to sanitize the internal devourer,

You believe in diabolism, goodness pays is what you'll never consent
I believe in Morrison, "Music is your only friend, until the end."

Pushing it hard

2007-03-07T04:50:00.000-08:00

Those days if recalled send a chill through the spine
Every night I would sleep in distress
The next morning mother would ask "Are you fine?"
I'm sure time will always win this race,

The bedrock of my character is build by these crucial facts
I'm human, will God forgive these abominable acts,

The face expressing detest
The repercussions are hard to recuperate,

He wasn't one, as I shall recall
Now he is a wino and it was destined to befall,

I have my good days and bad days just like anyone else
But I'll stand up again and get it straight,

Unstable are these people, but unshakeable is my morale
Egocentric that they are, Egalitarian is what I am.

An Angel's dream

2007-03-07T04:46:00.000-08:00

I'm not from this world, I'm from a place where
Gentlemen are more appreciated than Casanovas,

Where the skies are blue and not gray
Where the dolphins breathe and not suffocate,

Where the breeze dances through the meadows
And there are no cement barricades that affect its flow,

There, its abundance of humanity
And short of greed
Here, its complete atrocity
And lunatics who breed,

There the tigers are in plenty
And so is all nature's wealth
Here the mankind will be extinct
While they enjoy science performing the dance of death,

To the people there I wish
'Thou shalt live like this and bliss shall spread in expanse,
To the people here, I wish
You all give peace a third chance.

I'm a traveler here until I open my eyes
This dream will come true even though man won't reach the skies.

Forbidden Truth

2007-03-07T04:41:00.002-08:00

Me makes money, then, Money makes ME.

For the mistakes done and sins committed
There is no escaping and no forgiveness,

Every dawn and dusk mark your fate
Actions taken in the present shape one's future,

Lust for the paper money instigates such heinous crimes
Self proclaiming humans themselves bury humanity six feet under,

They fear themselves so much that they try and hide
These deceased bodies cause the soul to suffocate inside.

Ulterior Thoughts

2007-02-27T08:27:00.000-08:00

These are the last words of my prayer
I see my faith in him vanishing into the air,

I lost the ones that I found
It seems it will happen because he told me so,

I know he can�t be fair
Every other day, the grave of my faith gains a new layer,

I wake up when am not sleeping
I fall when I am not standing,

The sunrise turns me off
Cause the night stops to laugh,

At the optimism of the cynical mind
I wonder if the devil in me can be so kind.

EXODUS

2007-02-26T04:24:00.000-08:00

Come to me, my dear child

My hands don’t shiver for nothing but the deathly ride,

God fears him not once but all the time

He fears me because I’m the only bride,

Before cracking open the mind I felt so strong

Love and care are not mere words but tools that charm,

The pistol is naked and so is your girl

Blood trickles down the hair from every little curl,

Beastly shadows cross your mind

You are left with thoughts like mortal and divine,

The glass edges clearly reflect no light

A self-portrait or God-made customs to abide,

Speaking of art reminds her of Gothic melodies

The ones that talk about black humour and Life as parody,

Crossing the continents come the creators

Creating the clutches they control the Crusaders,

Now why do you come to me my fearful child?

Don’t look above because the Angels are blind.

Assemble, Dissemble, Resemble

2007-02-23T01:33:00.000-08:00

Waste no tear for me or for thy lord

I know something that you do not,

The bluebird in the sky is where I wish to be

Not singing but learning how to be free,

The southern winds don’t knock the door before they enter

I ignite my life and wait for you to swelter,

Somebody holds her hand and shows her the way

You are not the one who did that but still you are the prey,

Disowned by the fate and possessed by choice

Will you scream out loud or will the silence suffice,

Resting on the arc of my heart’s shadow

I feel so different smelling the last clove,

Failing and falling, I have mastered the art

Not to stumble over but to stand apart,

Eye scans the ‘I’ in me, hand hunts the touch in thee

Freeze before the demon wakes, kill the snowman and eat the flakes.

Dahling . . .

2007-02-22T01:19:00.000-08:00

With the dull mirage greeting me
I care for none but my dreaming tree

I search for you in a fragile world
But why should I again care,

No I am not mean but I do dare
To tell the truth and to swear

Go to sleep just to keep
Some points so blank
These thoughts too deep,

Try and hide so tell those lies
Act like spies trying to analyze,

Closed the gates for all my mates
Found me to stake so those smiles to fake?

You left me bleedin, dahling . . . please take me in
Mom says don’t play with your food
It’s a sin, it’s a sin,

Now why the wait just open the crate,
Don’t lay the bait please gobble me straight,

Those beans I did not spill so I cannot fulfill
In me is no power, no will as I lay on the platter for you to kill.

Silence, please . . .

2007-02-12T06:05:00.000-08:00

I dont know what to say. I dont know what to do. I feel so low. today first time i'm feeling that why was i born? I am so dead. Im so lost. Searching and begging for souls and for help in searching souls. I have money, can i buy one please? Oh please atleast under the pretext of charity. I hate it to say, if not tomorrow then today. Yesterday. Again and again. I have lost it. I have gathered nothing but free souls. The ones who have earned nothing out of themselves and nothing out of me. I don't foresee anyone who will stand by me and not only laugh but even cry. I feel so helpless. I feel so miserable. The worst part is its me who has gotten myself in such a pitiful state. Call it a state of mind or pessimism. but thats exactly what i feel and thats exactly what i will say. I will not pretend like others do. i will not bitch like others do. I will complain. i will hate. i will confront. i will detest. i will resent. i will react. i will do what i want to do. What i feel like doing. I will do exactly that. You have a problem with it, then you can just make my life more easier by your absence. Bye.
And if you think you sympathize my situation then might as well you can look at yourself in the mirror and see the same helplessness. You are here because you want to be. Thats the same fundamental i'm applying here. I'm saying this because that is what i feel and that is what i want to say. I don't want any sympathies or reactions. I just want you to relate. If you have felt so before, then you better be here than anywhere else. Its not a compulsion again, but its what i feel. I have nobody around me who has a soul for which i will envy him or her, or i will give my arm and leg for. Thats so sick. And they call themselves human's ! Yeah right. I'm even worst. I call them Friends ! LOL ! Give me a break. Its ridiculous.
But then i just look back and give it a thought. I have done these things too. To others. So even i'm one of them. just a body and no soul. Just a name but not a friend. But i have said it earlier. I have no soul. Im searching for one. But still i will say that im not one of them. I may not have a soul, but im not one of them. I'm far better than them. And if you can't take it, that says it all. You can't take it because even you are one of them. And if you can take it, then you are one amongst US. Not like me, but amongst Us. I'm not saying i'm the only one. The chosen one or the ruler. But there are few like me who are so stubborn.